Embracing My Nebula of Forgiveness

Have you ever had trouble forgiving someone?

How on earth could I forgive my mom for having to be her caretaker for all my childhood. For allowing herself to become addicted to her pain medication and allow me to be around her high. How could I forgive her from manipulating me into thinking I had to be with her and take care of her all the time? This hatred fueled me. For 2 years during my early college life, I had no contact with my mother. That was the start of me living with my father full time. Every day I would wake up think of my mother, if she was ok, and allow rage, anger, guilt, and regret to take over me. 

I remember always feeling restless and heartbroken. I allowed this feeling to keep me from finding peace! To be honest I don’t know what changed in me. I don’t know what made me shape up and reach out to connect with my mom again. To allow acceptance and forgiveness to take over. But I do know that when I did, the tormented life I was living turned to one much more joyful. I would see my mother almost every other day and help her with her wheelchair. That last year we had together before she passed was one of the best we ever had. She was trying to live life again. We went places together and she was one of the few who approved of my relationship with Randy. I never have had regret over my mother's death because I was able to allow forgiveness to come into my life. 

Nebula went down the dark path her father Thanos laid out for her with the vigorous training and torture he put her through. She held such hate for Gamora because she switched sides and betrayed her and her father. It wasn’t until Nebula embraced forgiveness for her sister that she too was able to see the light and join the side of good!

Have you let the inability to forgive someone hold you back?