My Battle with Anorexia

I’m honored to do my first commissioned Cosplay as Wondervixen, from Reynard City Comics!

It was like a someone or something took control of my mind. The image in the mirror was never good enough. It started when I used food to composite my stressful situation at my Mom and Dad’s houses. As caretaker to both disabled and abusive parents, I was drowning and I found comfort in food. To the point where at 3’5” I was 136 lbs. I’ll never forget the day my father let me know matter of factly. “Erin you’re fat I’m sorry but you’ll never be supermodel pretty.” That was it! I needed to show up my father and gain some semblance of control on my life! The restraint of food was my choice. 

With the lack of each bit, the loss of another pound, and the view of a new bone prodding out was a powerful high. But I was completely miserable. I would starve myself for a day then binge to the point where I wanted to die from feeling so full the next. Looking in the mirror I’d fear the image staring back at me. What most people saw as a Skelton, I saw as a chunky and still needing to lose weight person whom I was never happy with. When I thought I had control, I was actually spiraling out of it. It took losing my grandmother to snap me out of it and to fight. To realize that the life I was living was no life at all. Anorexia and body dysmorphia will always be a part of me but I have control over it, not the other way around. I’ve found self-love no matter what I see in the mirror because I know that what is in my soul is radiating with a magnificent beauty!

Wondervixen suffered as I did. She too battled with her control when she was injected with parasites to manipulate her self-esteem and cause her to spiral into body dysmorphia. She too finds that her true power lies in her heart and soul and is able to overpower the evil that infested her.

Have you ever suffered from any eating disorder or body dysmorphia?

Thank you so much Rob Tuner, and Jed Soriano, for the opportunity to create these cosplays, checkout Reynard City! 

https://www.reynardcity.com