How I Stopped Apologizing for Being Me

I used to say it so much. 

I’m sorry. No really if I was talking “I'm Sorry” was something that would always come out one way or another. Randy and I would have a conversation and if I had to repeat myself because I was talking too quietly I’d say “I’m sorry.” I would find a way to apologize for everything. It wasn’t even cause I was really sorry it was because I had such lack of confidence in myself and value that I felt that just being in someone's presence I needed to apologize. This continued for years. It even elevated so much that Randy mentioned to me that all I do is say sorry, to which I hung my head and said, “sorry”. 

When I started to read some self-growth books I realized that these strong men and women had come from where I was currently. Frell if they could do it why couldn't I? I had to start to push for wanting more for myself, to start to love myself as I was currently so I could care enough about her to want better. As I started to do view myself in a different light, I was able to catch myself when I was ready to say that I was sorry. I mean, was I really sorry or was I about to say something because I had doubt in my actions, in myself? The more and more I put thought and love into myself I started to stop saying this word. Nowadays I only apologize for something I am truly sorry for. I’ve noticed Sammy starting to pick this habit up as well and I have taken action into working with her to boost up her self-love!

Seven of Nine is someone who came from the other side of being sorry. Her actions come from one of proficiently and logic, although she did start to share emotions. She had to learn to care for others as she was removed from the collective. In doing so she developed a mother-daughter relationship with Captain Janeway, a Father-Daughter relationship with The Doctor. She still held that confidence and knew when the word sorry should truly be said.

Have you gotten stuck in the "I’m sorry" cycle?